full send

lowercase = wrote this with energy

around your 20s, you begin to see the matrix glitching

you realize that youre never going to be young forever

"young" = living with no worries, like the start of a studio ghibli movie

and i feel it. I can no longer lift the kettlebells and barbells as recklessly as I used to without the thought of some scapula or back problem. i jumped out of an obstacle at a spartan race, and oops, suddenly i learned there's fall damage in this game called life. what happened? you used to be wolverine

and it's not just your physique. recently i tried to learn japanese and realized i can no longer learn a language as fast as I used to. and yet when i was 19, i was able to memorize at least 100 french words in a few hours to impress a french exchange student who was volunteering at a charity i spent weekends helping at. remember when you used to be able to cram chapters worth of university STEM material in a weekend to ace the exam? impossible now unless youre an MIT janitor. and every day I also get to see a talented person feeling the decline, and that guy has a good diet, physically active, and a well paying job that exercises the mind.

perhaps youve also experienced a few more things:

that the job you dreamed of didnt save you, that relationship you had wasnt worth it, your body no longer recovers from a fall or some accident as fast as when you were 15, or that ambitious 5-year plan you developed during undergrad might take longer

so people panic, and pivot, especially 30

they take up activities to feel alive

1. running
2. grad school
3. lifting more weights
4. rock climbing
5. brazilian jiu jitsu
6. joining a club to meet new people
7. freediving...

these arent wrong themselves, theyre an action against entropy. a structure against chaos. even if the results suck, even if you get ghosted by your date or fail that deadlift PR. at worse, theyre forward momentum. and at best theyre identity development

because the only real failure is inertia

as apple's founder steve jobs once said:

>You can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards

too many people think about purpose or certainty

they delay their decisions, thinking about a masterplan

you want to feel alive?

to break out of the void?

movement, acceleration, momentum

you are not here to seek clarity, you are here to act. you dont sit in doubt, you pujnch through it. you dont seek purpose, you move too fast for despair to catch up. you were never meant to be still, for stillness are for corpses and statues.

because fren, the meaning is to be the blur

why think about meaning of life when you can just:

• gain muscle
• talk to people, dance, date
• do adventures with friends
• live life
• have fun

why think about certainty, or the optimal way to do X, when you can:

• say yes to a job and learn as you go
• gain direct or diagonal exposure by accepting a task
• stack asymmetric XP while ppl overthink
• sprint into roles youre not ready for, instead of waiting and hoping you can get promoted
• "fake it til you make it" -> No. PROVE it til you make it. you execute and learn in the trenches

youve watched too many andrew huberman/peak performance podcasts and read too many reddit threads to find out the best way to do X

but enlightenment is in the action, it is kinetic

real truth lives in friction

aim to maximize the rate of learning, not the prettiness of priors. the "optimal way to do X" is unknowable until you touch X

you dont need to wait to become an alpha male, or get some high-value male certificate from andrew tate before you can get the hot girl. this is not a checklist game, this is live combat. you get the woman by being orbit, in the ring, with no hesitation

you are not here to understand, youre here to devour

look at F1 racers

zero fear, high test, masters of flow, goddamn war artists on the edge of death and mythology with a war stare. racing like its their last day on earth. this is a realm of men, one that demands kill instinct. hesitation means death. the field only respects aggression. life is the same.

see the contrast. ask:

what am I willing to risk to feel alive again?

ask a pilot if theyre afraid of plane crashes, they arent

one pilot's reply was concise and struck me best:

"Death comes fast. It wont even hurt."

they are not fixated in death, they are fixated in life

they dont fear death the way overthinkers do. because theyve already decided that theyre willing to risk for what they want. theyre not fantasizing dying in their sleep at 93, they only think about what theyre going to do next

as F1 racer mario andretti once said:

>If everything is under control youre not going fast enough.

execute hard, do not wait for the right moment, deploy

like schwarzenegger, do not overthink about the "optimal hypertrophy curve", when in doubt, stack reps -> always bias for action

while you overanalyze my exercise form, i've already learned or recovered

i do not wait for the perfect script. i do not think about whether i prepared well enough for the job interview, i do not wait to prepare myself 100% for the task before i say yes. i go full send. FLASH.

i dont rehearse, i approach the girl once i get eye contact

i do not optimize, i get it done. speed beats precision. never hesitate.

execution is my preparation, momentum is my advantage

while people critique you, you are already moving on to the next task

it's not that you become better than others, but just simply:

you become way AHEAD

i am not here to pitch you productivity, i am here to declare an ethos: operator vs overthinker. it's a binary choice. thinking about a grey zone is how you lose, thats how you hesitate

1 second of hesitation, scales to an eternity of saying "no"

there is no spectrum, only binary choices: 1 or 0

people criticize atlas shrugged for binary characters, when a black-and-white thinking is the proper model for life

yes the world is probabilistic, but your behavior should be binary

dont think, just do. everyone overthinks, they think they are gaining some alpha signal or uncovering some hidden strategy. but thinking is for civilians, operators execute. youve already spent months thinking about that job/gradschool application, business idea, sport to join, opener to use to talk to that girl.

or perhaps you have a travel plan, for months youve stacked so many youtube tabs on how to get a good flight deal or make that trip "worth it" and calculating every variable.

thereis no alpha, and operators dont calculate every variable. i've known CEOs and generals, hell my father's a decorated general . what makes them different is they move fast, punching into the void

if you arrived at my site, youre probably some STEM grad or adjacent. like most, you have...

• been rejected by your dream company
• inner voice tells you that you couldve made your parents prouder
• discounted by the system
• discarded by people who said they believed in you
• they say AI will take our jobs, and even now the job market is ass

they think youre done. but now we hunt. you need this win. no more dreaming, just war. youre not some startup boy, youre a ghost protocol. and yes it is worth the risk, this is a game, and this is our quest

startup guru paul graham in a famous essay wrote:

>Flying a glider is a good metaphor here. Because a glider doesn't have an engine, you can't fly into the wind without losing a lot of altitude. If you let yourself get far downwind of good places to land, your options narrow uncomfortably. As a rule you want to stay upwind. So I propose that as a replacement for "don't give up on your dreams." Stay upwind.

try something new

run. climb. chase. deploy. have fire in your lungs.

get masters/phd. start a business. fail. do it again.

congrats youre gaining trajectory, distance, and velocity

so when the opportunity comes, youre already airborne

minimum viable lifemaxx

increase your input-output throughput for life

then aim your aggression

for you are the postmodern odysseus

youre not a wanderer, nor a philosopher, but a tactician of experience

stay kinetic and high test

holy fucking shit i'm gonna tattoo that

"kinetic"

for this is kinetic stoicism

we acccept uncertainty, maximize all collisions, and let the vapor trail build our identity. this is not self-help advice, but rules of engagement

i'm not telling you to be reckless, i am preaching racecraft. to create weaponized motion. F1 drivers hit the brakes not to slow, but to go faster overall, to win the race, for velocity beats speed

the people who'll hate it, are the ones who need permission to feel alive. be the blur, move first, for everything else is theater